This blog is dedicated to my Brother Shane and Sister Ryann who I love and miss very much.
All my life I have tried to find a safe place. We got kicked out of the family I still didn't feel safe, we moved I still didn't feel safe, we had bolt locks I still didn't feel safe, we even have security doors now and I don't feel safe. I see men on the streets and the first thing I think of (because I was abused in almost every way you can think of) that they are going to harm me even though they do not. I don't feel safe at our apartment, I don't feel safe out in public so you must be wondering where I feel safe. The only place I will feel safe is in heaven by God.
I would day dream that Mom would get married so I would have a father who would love me not knowing I had one who loved me since before I was born. God is that Father. The Father I need and always wanted. When I opened up to that idea it hit me all my life I was searching for a Father who cares and he has been by my side all that time. He could have been hugging me without me even knowing. He loved me even though for many years I didn't beleive.
I know now God will never abuse me like my family did. He will never tease me like I was at school. He is the only Father who will never do such a thing because my Father and God-Father did.
I pick on Mom (not like the teasing at school it is something we do like a insider joke. We do that all the time) that she picked good Godpartents for me. One who sexually abused me and another who called me fat starting when I was 7 years old.
You are wondering what this has to do with you all reading this?? Some of you might have been abused yourself by fathers, mothers, sisters, cousins, aunts uncles. You may even today not feel safe. There is hope!!! A hope if you take this chance to come to know that 3 in 1 (God the Father, God the son, God the Holy Spirit) and believe that Jesus died for your sins and 3 days later rose again. Also confess your sins and turn away from them. You will not be perfect and not ever sin again. Far from it! God wants you to try your hardest not to sin. If you do that you will live forever in the only place you may feel safe. That meaning heaven.
A place where you know you will never be abused again. A place where you will see your loved ones who have believed. A place that will bring peace and great joy.
I have seen this in a dream. I was down on earth and they where talking about a water supply and if you use the water up in the year that's all you get and they didn't seem to care if you die of thurst or not. They I shot upward. I was worried about me going to heaven or not. I get up there I see God. I hug him and bow down to him. I have never felt so much happiness and joy in my life.
I take dreams seriouslly becuase they come form God. Some people say no way, that is from REM sleep but I have to tell you that was the most powerful experence in my life. It even says in the bible that in the end times that there will be dreams and visions. I beleive that dreams all have a meaning that God is telling you something.
I remember on two occasions when beams of light landed on my Mom's car with me in it landing only on us. My one online friend told me, in so many words, that God has something special in mind for us. To me that ment that we where special to God.
There is a heaven. There is a God who loves you. There has to be. There is no other explamation for it. God loves all of us even if you don't beleive in him or even if you do. He is our Father who will never leave us. This line came from a poem I wrote:
"People may leave and others may die but God is aways there by your side."
That is the truth!! If you beleive it is the truth and everything I have said was the truth please pray this prayer. Remember God is always ready to listen!!!
God I am a sinner, your son died for me on the cross. I am so sorry for all the sins. I know now it isyour will be done and not mine. I let what ever will I have to you because you are in control. In Jesus' Holy Name, AMEN
Now go in peace. If came with your whole heart to this decision remember try your hardest not to sin but remember everyone makes mistakes and if you ask for forgiveness God will forgive you and not hold that sin you did against you.
GOD BLESS YOU All!!!
